Citizen Moose: The Revised Edition Page 1

Zoltan: (At bench) I traveled far to arrive at this place. Not only did I traverse space but time also. This is my tale.

Being part of The Fallacy of the Ambiguous End

932AD

Scene opens with two people, Gayorg and Maxim fighting in a clearing. Zoltan the Assassin (myself) time jumps in.

Zoltan: Gayorg, do you know your brother?

Two people stop fighting.

Gayorg: Of course I do.

Zoltan: Do you know the masked man with whom you fight?

Gayorg: No.

Zoltan: But he is your brother.

All: Paradox!!!

Zoltan: If you touch this masked man you are also touching your brother. This is the paradox of identity.

Maxim quickly kills Gayorg. Zoltan then picks up Gayorg’s fallen stick and swiftly runs Maxim through killing him. Zoltan then time jumps out.

4212AD

Monkey Man runs across the desert holding aloft the infinite power source. He approaches the bridge across the gully. Zoltan time jumps in to the scene and kills the Monkey Man with a blow to the chest. Zoltan picks up the infinite power source.

Zoltan: At last I have three thirds of infinity. It is a shame that the future version of myself is lying dead just across that desert. Damn those Zamneses Brothers. Don Cornelius claimed they were bumbling idiots but in fact they are possibly the best fighters in the galaxy. At least they were killed by Johnny.

Zoltan time jumps out.  

2806AD

Emperor Vladimir is sitting at the imperial table. Zoltan time jumps in.

Vladimir: Do you have it?

Zoltan: I do indeed. But I cannot give it to you. The future version of myself will be arriving any minute with the piece of the infinite power source you want. By the way I, that is the future version of me, has a surprise for you.

Zoltan time jumps out.

2746AD

The good emperor is sitting at his imperial pool. Zoltan time jumps in.

Zoltan: I have a gift for you your highness

Emperor: What is it my son?

Zoltan: It is the infinite power source. It is the most infinite of power sources. With it you can rule with a loving hand, or with an iron fist. Quickly spread it through time so it will be safe from the minions of Count Vladimir.

Emperor: As I am known as the good emperor I will do as you ask.

Zoltan: By the way, Count Vladimir will kill you and then seek the infinite power source. Don’t worry he wont get it I’ll see to that.

Emperor: I will never let this item of which I just learnt of and know nothing of ever land in the hands of evil and I will protect that with my life.

Zoltan time jumps out.

5115AD

Zoltan time jumps into a room with another person sitting in a chair.

Arcadian: It appears you got my message.

Zoltan:  I came as soon as I could.

Arcadian holds up a glass full of liquid.

Arcadian: Do you know what this glass contains?

Zoltan: I know not.

Arcadian: It contains poison. Hexavalent Viridian 4 to be exact. Quite deadly but also quite slow acting. It can take months, or even years depending on one’s constitution, to kill a man. Quite undetectable to one’s senses, only very stringent laboratory tests can reveal its presence.

Zoltan: Who would want to poison you?
Arcadian: Who else but my arch nemesis William Randolph Moose. He is attempting to assassinate me. Hexavalent Viridian 4 was his concoction and only he holds the cure. I am hiring you to find him and kill him. But before you do totally away with him find the antidote so that I may live on.

Zoltan: But you haven’t explained why he wants to kill you.

Arcadian: He is vying to be the next Emperor of the Galaxy. He knows that if he succeeds I will lead a revolt against him. He must stop this if he is to rule.

Zoltan: I understand. I will find him and carry out your orders.

Arcadian: Hurry, my time grows short.

Zoltan time jumps out.

Scene opens with Citizen Moose sitting at the head of a table with his three generals sitting in front of him.

Moose: My intelligence tells me that Arcadian has hired Zoltan the Assassin to come after me. I hope he’s better then those Zamneses Brothers whom tried to kill me several times. Don Cornelius was right they were bumbling fools. So what are we going to do about it?

Mustafa (General of the Army): We could have our best fighters track him to the ends of the galaxy. No matter how good he is cannot escape forever our fighting elite.

Moose: The only problem is that the army lives by the rules of the Time Jump Law Enforcement agency and as Zoltan lives outside the law he can time jump any time any place without warning and the usual clearances.

Rachis (General of the Air Force): Our new line of attack cruisers can move outside the jurisdiction of the Time Jump Law Enforcement Agency. Our cruisers were designed along the lines of dealing with renegade people in these situations. My air force will bring him down.

Bob (General of Philosophy): Does this supposed Zoltan even exist. It could be possible that he is a figment of the imagination of a paradox. I suggest we do nothing and if we believe that he doesn’t exist or pose a threat he will not come and attack us. If we believe strongly enough he will cease to exist as some schools of thought purport.

Moose: I knew it was a mistake creating a General of Philosophy. I think our best bet is to send out the air force cruisers under the control of General Rachis. Then when he is caught General Mustafa, you will send in your troops to destroy him. Then there will be no one to stop me from assassinating Arcadian and taking control of the Galaxy to rule. That Emperor Vladimir is getting a little tiresome.

Bob: What is my part in this attack?

Moose: I need you to use your insight into the human mind to suggest some likely places and times that Zoltan would be hiding out in. Relay this information to General Rachis.

Mustafa: We’ll get right on it.

Mustafa, Rachis and Bob time jump out.

Moose: They better not fail or it will be their undoing. Undoing as I will kill them. But I’ll be dead because if they fail Zoltan will kill me. So I can’t kill them. So it will not be their undoing. So it doesn’t matter if they fail. But if they fail it will be their undoing.

Bob time jumps in.

Bob: Paradox!

Bob time jumps out.

Bob and Rachis are sitting in a large room. Possibly with Rachis looking over a fleet of attack cruisers.

Bob: I have read many existentialist texts dealing with the nature of time and its relationships to people. I believe it may have given me an insight into possibly where Zoltan is.

Rachis: Where do you believe he is? It doesn’t matter if it’s only a vague idea considering you haven’t analysed any facts.

Bob: Well, considering a factor we philosophers like to call the “Move the story along quickly factor” I believe that he is on the planet Danube Belay in the year 5903 at coordinates 23°12’N 44°7’W. Sorry I was so vague hope it will be helpful.

Rachis: As I don’t wish to waste time on accusations that have no grounding maybe you should go after this lead and check it out. If you find anything report back and my cruisers will be there within seconds.

Bob: Ok I’ll just get clearance to make this time jump. Time Jump Law Enforcement Agency this is General Bob. I wish to make a time jump to the year 5903 for a personal visit.

TJLE Agent: (Off camera voice) Wait for clearance. (5 seconds pass). Travel authorized you are clear to go.

Bob time jumps out.