The Fallacy of the Ambiguous End - Page 3

Scene 2 – 2001 (One year before Johnny and Zoltan meet in “The Good the Bad and the Infinite”)

 

Zoltan time jumps into a field. Johnny is waiting for him.

 

Johnny: What are you doing here?

Zoltan: I came back to see you. Wanted to know how you were doing?

Johnny: You’re here to kill me right? Well let’s get it over with shall we.

Zoltan: I’m not going to kill you, I know when you’ll die, and I’ve seen it in the future.

Johnny: You saw my death?

Zoltan: It was my death too, we both died in the same spot. But it happens along way into the future, you’ll time jump there as a result of some other things that will happen. But that is unimportant. Johnny…

Johnny: Yes Zoltan?

Zoltan: How do you know my name?

Johnny: I could ask you the same question since we’ve never met.

Zoltan: Well I have met you during events that will occur in the future from which I have recently time jumped from. But you shouldn’t know me. The events which occur which will give you the power to travel through time don’t occur for another year, by your linear reckoning. But yet you automatically assumed I was going to kill you. A worthy assumption given that I am an assassin.

Johnny: I only assumed you were going to kill me because you are carrying a machine gun. I know your name because you’re wearing a name tag that says “Hi, my name is Zoltan”. Other than that I’ve never seen you before in my life and this entire conversation has been strange and weird to me. Here I am trying to walk home from school, and a machine gun wielding time travelling assassin magically appears out of nowhere and proceeds to tell me that he’s seen my death and that I will soon learn how to travel through time.

Zoltan: I’ve really messed this up. I think I might go now.

 

Zoltan time jumps out. Johnny keeps walking. Zoltan time jumps back in and whacks Johnny over the head. Johnny falls to the ground and passes out. Zoltan pulls out a syringe with a label which read “Memory-Erazor”. He inserts the syringe into Johnny’s arm, and then time jumps back out.

 

Scene 3 – 5124

Zoltan time jumps into a stately foyer. Immediately two guards approach him.

 

Guard 1: I’m sorry Mr Zoltan you’ll have to give us your weapon before you enter.

 

Zoltan hands over his machine gun and is escorted down a hallway

 

Guard 2: Hey Barry, after we get off work, do you think Katie would mind if I took her dancing?

Guard 1: Hey shut up we’re not supposed to talk.

Zoltan: What type of dancing?

Guard 2: Tap.

Zoltan: Harrumph. You call that dancing? Where’s the interpretation?

Guard 2: Katie doesn’t like interpretive dance.

Zoltan: Katie’s an idiot. I once watched Ulysses S. Grant interpret the failure of the Cold War policy of détente with only two helium balloons and a slide whistle. And that was 100 years before détente was formulated as a cold war policy!

Ulysses S. Grant: It’s true you know. I got the idea from a box of cream puffs.

Zoltan Shaking his head: Tap… well I’ll never.

 

Zoltan walks through some heavy doors into a room. In the room is a large oak table. Around the table sits a number of dignitaries in their formal uniforms. Also present is Arcadian, Mr Wedge, Bob; General of Philosophy, Estaban Rodriguez III, The Whip, Dr Walter D. Korn, Professor Fred F. McMurray and Snayke Mann. Also present is the Sergent of the TJLEA. At the head of the table sits Monsieur Ole, Emperor of the Galaxy. He is still very weak from his battle with Muusu and is hooked up to a variety of machines.

 

Zoltan takes a seat at the table.

 

Monsieur Ole: Zoltan, why did you not bring Johnny from the past to this meeting?

Zoltan: I realised upon meeting Johnny, a year before I beat him up on assignment for the previous Evil Emperor who you vanquished a few years ago, that by bringing Johnny to this meeting I would upset the continuum and this meeting would never occur.

Monsieur Ole: Zoltan, you are a wiser man than most. Congratulations, you have passed the test. By proving your wisdom you have been accepted to this most learned of councils. Take a seat.

Zoltan: I’m already sitting.

Monsieur Ole: That’s good then, now on to business.

 

Meep enters carrying a large turkey.

Monsieur Ole: Meep, I trust you did not steal that turkey?