Middle of Nowhere Productions

The Shower

By Matt (Colonel)

Early one morning
I got out of bed
and got into the shower
and turned on the tap
when out of the blue there was a knock on the door

So I put on a towel
and walked to the door
and opened the door
and looked out the door
at the guy that was standing there
and snapped "What d'ya want!"

And he stormed into my house
and shoved me aside
and yelled in my face
"Get out of my shower"

So I looked at him closely
and pondered his face
and wonder allowed
before yelling back
"It's my shower"

But he didn't seem to understand
"Get out of my shower"
He yelled once more

"Listen buddy"
I calmfully requested
"This is my shower!"
"I placed the tiles
and laid the pipes
and put up the screen door
so it's my shower get out"

But he just stared back
with his cold accusing eyes
and his pineal gland all asunder
and he said "Yeah"

And I said "Yeah"

And he said "Yeah"

And I said "Yeah"

And so we faced each other
on the field of intolerance
in the pit of doom
with our swords of justice
and our fists of fury
underneath the watchful eye of the great turnip,
ruler of God, Buddha and enlightened guru

And thus it was
underneath the watchful eye of the great turnip,
ruler of God, Buddha and enlightened guru
that we stared

Then he stepped forward
And I stepped forward
and he stepped forward
and I stepped forward
and he stepped forward
and I stepped sideways
and he stepped forward
and I stepped forward
and he stepped forward
and I stepped to the otherside
and he stepped forward
and I stepped backwards
and he stepped forward
and I hopped on one foot
and he stepped forward
and I composed a symphony that moved the heavens and the earths

And thus we clashed...

And so it was that in a thousand years
as dawn rose across and scarred landscape
underneath the watchful eye of the great turnip,
ruler of God, Buddha and enlightened guru
I returned to the shower
where I'd placed the tiles
and laid the pipes
and put up the screen door

And I turned on the tap...

and there was no hot water...

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