Episode 8: Someone is stealing my potato chips!
Introduction
Zeus sits atop Mt Olympus throwing Lightning bolts down to earth. He is laughing.
Camera pans down to earth where people run screaming from the lightning.
Two people are seen running.
Person 1: And to think that I never knew true love!
Person 2: You think you've got it bad! I'm behind on my rent repayments.
A lightning bolt crashes in front of them.
Person 1: And yet I've learned nothing…
Opening Credits
Scene 1
Lenin, Ninjo and Philby are walking down the street.
Ninjo: But isn't a free market economy the ultimate freedom?
Lenin: Have I taught you nothing?
Philby: Can you two talk about anything except economics?
Ninjo: I'm talking to Lenin. What else am I going to talk about? If I was talking to Babe Ruth I'd talk about baseball. But I'm not, I'm talking to Lenin!
Philby turns to Babe Ruth: So, how 'bout them Yankees.
Scene 2: Ninjo enters the Ninja academy.
A samurai is standing behind a counter.
Samurai: Ninjo you pathetic excuse for a Ninja. You are a disgrace to your Franco - Spanish heritage! Now drop and give me 20!
Ninjo falls to the floor. Removes his wallet. Stands back up and hands the samurai a $20 note.
Ninjo: Lessons used to only cost $15.
Samurai: $15! Why you ungrateful snake! FITHTEEN DOLLARS! How can I survive on $15!? What about the new gym mats? Falling economies? The soap in the urinals? The glass ceiling?
Ninjo: You don't have any urinals… or a ceiling.
Samurai leaves the room grumbling and cursing under his breath.
Ninjo walks out of the room into a large training area. Many other trainees are milling about.
A single Ninja is standing in a circle that has been painted on the ground.
Ninja in circle: Whoever can drive me from this circle can have my Pontiac Firebird!
Ninjo to another trainee: He's giving us his car? I though Ninja's abhorred material reward?
Trainee shrugs his shoulders: Meh, I blame the internet. That and Goldie Hawn…
A trainee approaches the circle. He puts one foot inside and the Ninja master kicks him in the chest. The trainee flys across the room, through an open window, across the street, down an alley, over an open field, across a large ocean and lands in a vat of cream cheese.
Ninjo approaches the circle.
The Ninja master laughs: HAHAHA. Ninjo? You couldn't hurt a fly if it was National fly hurting day. Now get out of my sight.
Ninjo stands there. He looks around then turns and leaves the room. A moment passes before a herd of elephants charge into the room scattering everyone. Everyone in the room flees.
Ninjo re-enters looks around then whispers: Thank you Lenin. I always knew your elephant herding ability would come in handy!
He picks up a set of car keys off the ground and leaves the room.
The End
A Middle of Nowhere Production
by Matt (Colonel)