Middle of Nowhere Productions

Snow White and the Dwarfs Seven

By Alex (Snaykeemcgee)

Reference: 7 Dwarfs = Doc, Bashful, Sneezy, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey and Sleepy.

Prologue: Inside the Dwarves Seven shanty of a house

Doc: You know, we could use the abundance of gems and gold we work for all day to buy a somewhat decent house....

 

Grumpy: Nonsense! We're all happy living in this rundown, one bedroom old house in the middle of nowhere. Especially where we'd have to end up sleeping in the sink if anyone, especially a beautiful princess that will clean this house and we'll learn manners from and fall in love with but never have a chance because we're just dwarves against a prince that will whisk her away from poisoned death with 'true love's first kiss' despite never actually meeting or even TALKING to the princess prior to any of this engagement, to visit.

 

Bashful: You're "happy"? But that defies your whole persona! Even your name doesn't let for any wiggle room.

 

Grumpy: No!!! *implodes*

 

--Knock on the door--

 

Doc: Oh, it's you again.

 

--Directs one of the giant scary trees into the living room--

 

Tree: Thank you, my good man. It would appear that I left my sinister eyes at last night's polka fest.

 

Doc: Aye, here you go.

 

Happy: But how did you find you way back?

 

Tree: In a manner of two ways - firstly, I left breadcrumbs the night before so that if my father really did take my evil stepmother's advice to leave us stranded in the woods we'd be able to find our way home...although, there would be the chance of birds eating the bread crumbs and we'd wind up having to kill that crazy Ginger-Bread house witch by throwing her into the oven...so that's not how I got back here

 

Happy: What?

 

Tree: So it was by my second reason - my Braille map.

 

Doc: Ahhh. Makes sense.

 

Tree: Well, jolly good, old chaps. Hope all is well. I'm off to scare the princess in one of those "Was it a dream?/Was it Real? sequences.

 

Dopey: *hic*

 

Grumpy: Oh for the love of snake, stop eating soap!

 

Doc: When did you get back in here, Grumpy?

 

Sneezy: Achoo!

 

Doc: Well, at least the universe is in equilibrium again - everyone is corresponding to their names.

 

Sleepy: This scene has gone long enough - to the Death Star!

 

Doc: But sleepy! You're wide awake

 

--Universe implodes--

Scene 1: The Death Star

Vader: Bashful, these mangoes are out of season.

Bashful: Sorry, sir. Shall I have them exchanged?

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